THE STROLLER

Anthony brought it to my attention that it was time to let go and get rid of the 'child-rearing' paraphernalia.  I took a good look around and quite assuredly agreed.  However, I did ask if we could keep the bright red triple stroller and he looked at me and sighed and sighed again and gave me that look that only one who has been around you for over 20 some years can give - and then voiced that that was probably the least practical one to keep.  Ahh, yes, practical, if only my romanticism did not get in the way - And I then took Alec's first stroller out of the utility room and brought it out on the driveway.  I grabbed hold of the little red handle that then released it into upright position.  I took a good look at this great 'gray and black' nylon holding material that had now rusted buttons along the edge that were too hard  to press on to lock them into place to actually hold 'the child' but still very operational.  The fabric was quite worn and maybe even a bit mildewy (but I couldn't really see that).  I strolled the dusty-/cobwebby 'co-pilot'  (which was a wonderful bike company that went out of business and I always thought it was a great name!-my little co-pilot..) onto the front lawn and asked Anthony to make a sign 'for free'.  I noticed that the sign was turned inward and thought that no-one will realize that they could take the stroller - and planned to tape the sign on in the morning.  When I was returning home from walking Rigel I noticed that 'The Stroller' was gone.  I had no idea that I would be a bit sad, actually really sad.  I really even barely used the stroller, really.  I might not have ever really even released Alec from my hold for over three years, well, maybe.  He was in every kind of sling imaginable.  Although I did have a favorite he snuggled in very well.  We really were snuggled in together.  He was so amazingly beautiful how connected he was nursing.  It was one of those incredible right's of passage that I got to bear witness to each day.  And those are the days I hold in my heart.  The stroller was great for those who wanted to do 'the right thing' and give him some space.  I loved it for carrying my blankets and water, if I could remember.  Alec is now driving to school and we clearly do not need to be holding onto his very first stroller, right?  I kind of wish I knew where it was going to go- what new adventures were going to take place (hopefully safely)- perhaps I'll see it in the neighborhood - All I know is that I let go today - and took that into my soul - letting go - I'm glad that Anthony could see it was time- it was time to let go of what really no longer matters- no longer matters at all - thank you, my dear, dear companion. for knowing and nudging.